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PROFILE 
Life's been challenging & love's unpredictable.
But I know, everything happens for a reason.
& That, every ending's a new beginning.
ARCHIVES December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009
AFFLIATES
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Monday, March 16, 2009 @ 1:00 AM
Fix you As the title stated above, I'm listening to Coldplay now. Sing the lyrics and it's the state that I'm in right now. Fcuk it. I've always wanted to make my parents happy, especially my mum. Cause I think she's the most deserving woman in my life. I've always wanted to prove her wrong. I've always wanted to prove to her that I'm the girl-next-door who has her own dreams, ambitions. Who always wanted to have a brightful future. I just wish I can make her see all of this at once, at this very moment. If only she can see this big picture. If only. Am I that bad till she has to think lowly of me? Am I that bad to be her own daughter till she doesn't put her full trust on me? Am I that bad till she constantly have negative thoughts that I will stray far and burn her face? Am I that bad till she has to think that I've no brain to decide what's wrong and what's good? For god's sake Mum. When those hurtful words burst through my ears, my heart was terribly tearing apart. I can only kept quiet and cried solely in my room with you still, accusing me and made me feel unwanted in the house. Cause, fighting for my stand, would only make things look ugly and pitiful. I came back home late yesterday. You said you cared for me. If you did, the least you could do was to ask me how my day went. But instead, you went on demoralising me. Had I not done anything yet to make you happy? If I had not, I wish you could see, that I'm trying my best, for you and not for myself. I'm trying to fix myself, for you. Till my last breath. When you try your best but you don't succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you And high up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth |